


(Don't) Take Me To Church

by Pollys_hymnia



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M, destiel confession reaction, establish relationship for aziraphale and crowley, no 2020 vision here, no one really saw the destiel thing coming, questionable driving skills, uncontrollable fits of laughter, vhs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:22:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27436516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pollys_hymnia/pseuds/Pollys_hymnia
Summary: A very short fic in which Aziraphale watches the Destiel confession and shenanigans ensue.  Featuring: crack, fluff, and VHS.Aziraphale practically skipped back into the living room.  “Now, I’ve gone and recorded the whole thing on my Video Home System.”“Right, because of course you still use VHS.”“Yes, yes, look let me just rewind,” he pushed a button with a flourish on the remote control, “One moment.”‘One moment,’ Crowley mimicked to himself and slumped down on the couch in resignation.The whooshing sound of the VCR abruptly stopped, “Here we are,” Aziraphale sat down on the couch next to Crowley, “OK, I’m hitting ‘play.’”“Mmhmm.”
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68





	(Don't) Take Me To Church

There was a time when it was ‘Crowley this’ and ‘Crowley that.” It was bad enough the angel wasn’t talking about him, but some other kind of knock-off demon Crowley? That was insufferable. Crowley (the real one) was thankful when it was over. 

But no, apparently, that show never  _ actually  _ ended and Aziraphale was watching it? Again? 

Crowley couldn't care less. He decided to shut himself up in the bedroom and listen to music instead. If it was just a tad louder than it needed to be, well that was too bad. 

From above the-thankfully-not-yet-Queen music, Crowley unwittingly heard a few of the usual sound effects—screams, knocking, explosions—which he of course ignored. What he was altogether unprepared for, however, was the high pitched screaming that suddenly drowned out his music. 

Crowley jumped out of his chair and bolted through the door barely pausing to slam it open, “ANGEL???”

The scream had evidently come from Aziraphale? Who was crying!!! 

“Oh no angel what is it??”

Wait, he definitely was crying, but the sobbing sounded a lot closer to—

“Are you laughing? I—don’t” Crowley reached toward Aziraphale but stopped himself, then reached for him again, flapping his arms about in a bungled attempt to help, “Angel? Are you ok?”

Aziraphale waved his hand at Crowley in between fits of laugh-sobbing but couldn’t manage to form a single intelligible word. He gave up the struggle and gestured frantically at the television instead.

Crowley looked from Aziraphale to the TV and back again. The stupid show was finally over, but that didn’t explain anything at all. Crowley was worried. Had the angel finally cracked?

Crowley waited a minute, maybe two, hoping that this fit would subside on its own. When it didn’t, he started to pace, “Angel, what do you need? A human doctor? A priest? Holy water?”

“HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!” the angel continued.

“I don’t understand… is it? Is it that other Crowley?”

Aziraphale shook his head, “HA HA HA HA NO—HA HA HA… THE ANGEL….. GAY!!!” a squeal of giggles erupted again then, “HELL!!!! WRITING!!” he waved his hands more “Bad!! SO BAD! AHAHAHAHHAA!”

“This is all because of bad writing?” Crowley was not at all following.

“NO—YES—It’s.... Hehehehe… So absurd…” he gestured to the TV again, “Destiel!! IS BACK!! It’s REAL!!! BUT ahahahahaaha, THEY SENT HIM TO HELL!” He started laughing uncontrollably again, “OH NO I’M GOING TO HELL TOO! AHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Now this, THIS truly alarmed Crowley. He didn’t understand much of what Aziraphale was trying to say but his angel screaming about going to hell was all wrong. “Hang on, Angel,” Crowley said as he awkwardly scooped Aziraphale off the couch and began to carry him down to the car.

Aziraphale was on the verge of containing his giggle fit until “Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy” started playing on Crowley’s radio and he started laughing all over again. Even more concerned, Crowley raced the car through the London traffic in what was an entirely unsafe display of driving skills.

With a screech, the Bentley pulled to a stop right in front of—a church? Crowley jumped out of the car and opened Aziraphale’s door, “Come on Angel, we’re getting you help.”

“Are we,” a muffled giggle, “Crowley did you take me to church??”

“Yes, so, out you come, let’s go,” he took Aziraphale’s arm and helped him up, “I’m sure we can find someone here to help you.”

“I’m FINE, really,” Aziraphale laughed again, “It was just, you know, well you don’t know, hehehe, do you want to know? OH, You need to watch it too!!”

“Is this seriously because of that television show? You’re not possessed or crazy or something?”

Aziraphale scoffed, scandalized, “Crowley dear, I am most certainly NOT possessed, or crazy, how could you think such a thing?

Crowley simply stared at him wondering if Aziraphale had any idea just how ridiculous he was being.

Aziraphale straightened his coat, “Anyway, I’m… quite fine, quite fine, let’s go home.”

“And what about hell?”

Aziraphale snort-laughed, “SUPER hell.”

“FINE, super hell?”

Aziraphale chuckled then climbed back into the car, “Come on, just take me home.”

Crowley threw his hands up in exasperation. Was this some kind of angel thing he didn’t understand? Still, he did as Aziraphale asked and drove home. Slightly safer than the first run. Maybe.

Aziraphale practically skipped back into the living room. “Now, I’ve gone and recorded the whole thing on my Video Home System.”

“Right, because of course you still use VHS.”

“Yes, yes, look let me just rewind,” he pushed a button with a flourish on the remote control, “One moment.”

‘One moment,’ Crowley mimicked to himself and slumped down on the couch in resignation.

The whooshing sound of the VCR abruptly stopped, “Here we are,” Aziraphale sat down on the couch next to Crowley, “OK, I’m hitting ‘play.’”

“Mmhmm.”

The episode played as intended and Crowley vaguely faded into and out of attention. Toward the end, Aziraphale was suddenly patting the back of his hand excitedly, “Here we are, here we are!”

Crowley undraped himself from the back of the couch and leaned forward, at least willing to humor the angel. 

But? What? Was? This?

Castiel had said ‘I love you,’ and was promptly carried away to? Super Hell? Or something?

And it was so? Awkward?

Crowley pointed at the TV accusingly, “This? What is this?? It’s so…? There is NO CHEMISTRY?? And Dean says NOTHING?”

Aziraphale had already melted into a puddle of giggles next to him.

“Is Dean really THIS emotionally constipated all the time?” He looked at the angel in disbelief, “Really??”

Aziraphale clutched at his chest to steady himself, “You don’t  _ understand _ , this has been a major non-explicit romantic relationship in this narrative for  _ years _ . They’ve been leading fans on, and it’s finally  _ real  _ and it’s  _ awful _ and,” more laughter, “HELL!”

“So they made it half-gay, killed the angel, and sent him to hell. Well, sounds like the kind of thing my lot would do,” Crowley remarked.

“DID YOU?”

“What? NO of course not. This is, well I would have done a much  _ better  _ job if I had done it.”

“HEE HEE”

“But why are you going to hell? I mean, these writers are definitely going to hell, don’t get me wrong.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Aziraphale pointed to himself, “Angel,” he pointed to Crowley, “demon, and arguably worse than a hunter, and _ I love you. _ ”

Fortunately, Aziraphale was not immediately carried away to Super Hell. 

And Crowley was not emotionally constipated, either.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [actuallyfeanor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyfeanor) for Crowley reactions and [knitordeath](https://knitordeath.tumblr.com/) for helping spark this idea as we both lost our minds on November 5th


End file.
